Wanderlust: A desire to travel and understand one's very existence
Alice!!!!! Thank u for questioning me I feel special
Dear ex-bestfriend ,
I guess I have an above average number of ex-best friends, and I’m not quite sure why. It might be that I’m awful at keeping in contact with people or that I have a low anger tolerance. It could be that I’ve changed a lot in the last 10 years and I need to be around different people at different times in my life. Maybe we had a huge argument and I decided I couldn’t surround myself with poisonous people anymore. Maybe I hated your guts and maybe you hated mine.
But no matter what the reason we’re no longer best friends is, I can say one thing that I know is true - I miss you.
I read a quote once that said something like ‘friends are the family that you get to chose’. At the time I dismissed it as crap, because surely no one can be as close to you as family. But over the years I’ve realised that this has more accuracy than I first thought.
Friends are so so so important, and it took me a while to realise that. Especially best friends, they’re such a huge aspect of your life. You share your good times, bad times, laughs, tears and secrets. So many memories are shared and gossip exchanged.
I’m sad that you’re no longer my best friend, because we shared so much together. We could finish each others sentences and knew what the other was thinking because we spent so much time together.
We would sit on your kitchen counter and chat for hours without realising, and now we pass each other without a word. We spent years being each other’s worlds, constantly texting and seeing each other every weekend.
But time passed and we grew apart and now it seems that we have nothing in common. Everything has changed and now we move in different circles, live separate lives.
Maybe it’s a good thing, perhaps we were suffocating each other and the friendship had come to it’s natural ending. But that doesn’t stop me missing what we had. No matter how many Facebook statuses I make or snapchat stories I upload, you will always leave a gaping hole in my life.
I miss you, but maybe it was for the best.
Haha okay I got this
Firstly, fuck you. I say this a lot and don’t mean it, but this time I absolutely do. In this letter I hope to demonstrate what an absolute cunt you are, and why when I say fuck you, I really fucking mean it.
It’s not often I’m lost for words but right now I am because there ARENT ENOUGH WORDS TO EXPRESS WHAT AN ASSHOLE YOU ARE. You really messed up. And in the process of doing so, you messed me up.
I don’t know your reasoning for doing what you did, and I don’t think I ever will. Tbh it was probably you craving some sort of control and power, and perhaps I was an easy target. Maybe I did something dicky one time, and you saw an opportunity and you took it. Maybe it made you feel good, maybe it made you feel bad. Either way, that doesn’t change what you did.
The thing is, I can’t even say what you did. At this point I don’t even think it was an action, it’s just who you became and how you made me feel. You turned sour almost overnight, and it became your main objective to make me feel as bad as possible, every single day. Every day for months and months you tried to break me. And it worked.
Maybe you were angry at someone else and I was an easy target. Maybe you were bitter/upset/jealous/angry/frustrated/lost/lonely/bored. Maybe I did something wrong, and I still haven’t realised what it is. Maybe I’m in the wrong and I’m too ignorant to realise. But the fact of the matter is, you managed to make my life really awful. You made me dread everyday, and feel more lonely than I had ever felt before.
I thought you were right, I thought I was a waste. I felt unworthy of everything and like everything was pointless.
But this isn’t a letter of sympathy, it’s a letter of why you’re a piece of scum.
Within a matter of weeks, everything turned on it’s head and I was living a life I didn’t recognise. I literally had no one and it was like everyone just abandoned me.
I’m so so so so lucky that I got to meet a group of genuine, great people before you really got to me. They are 10000x the people that you are, and I’m so lucky to be able to call them my friends.
If it wasn’t for a certain great amazing kind person to introduce me to them, I genuinely don’t know where I’d be today.
Honestly the best decision I ever made was to stop this girl in the street and say hi, after having not seen her in forever.
I don’t even want to waste anymore of my time writing this letter, because you’re just not worth it.
It may seem like I gave up and you won, because I haven’t spoken to you about it or communicated any of this. But it’s just because I’m so done with your shit, and I can’t be bothered. Have a nice life, and I sincerely hope our paths don’t cross again.
Ps: if you ever find this, I won’t be embarrassed or ashamed. Please read it and understand it and don’t try to talk to me about it, because I will not respond. It’s over, and please respect that. Be as pissed off as you want, but please do not involve me in your emotions.
This got more cheesy and deep than I expected, I hope I haven’t creeped anyone out